Crying for my Mother

The words ring empty, empty, empty,
In the hollow chambers of my soul.
We have a Mother there.
But where?

My body shakes, the tears come fast.
To know the Father is life eternal.
But the Mother: nameless, faceless, and voiceless
Is too sacred, too protected for her daughters to know.

“You just don’t understand”
The answer comes fast,
With a pat on the head by a well-meaning hand.
You’re right. I don’t understand.

I don’t understand a Father
Who forbids a Mother to run to my aid,
Who keeps her in some hidden chamber,
And withholds her very name.

So I wrestle and plead and cry and hunger
For some answer, some balm to soothe
The aching, the longing, the gaping hole
The hole in my soul.

Oh, Mother, where art thou?
And where is the pavilion that covers the place where you hide?
I stand at the door and knock. 
But this veil is like looking through a glass, so dark, so dark.

I sought for you in divine words, scouring the pages,
And couldn’t find your name.
I sought for you in holy places, surely you would be there.
And in those lovely, quiet corridors I was empty and alone.

I am hurt and alone and weak,
Like a child after a bad dream,
Crying for my Mother,
For a glimpse of a divinity that looks like me. 


  1. Beautiful poem and very moving picture. If you have not heard of Margaret Barker's works, you may want to check out her book "The Mother of the Lord", which is all about the Queen of Heaven, our Mother in Heaven. Hugh Nibley approached the subject of the divine feminine without calling it that in his "Abraham in Egypt - chapter- Deseret Connection". It is the woman that picks the heirs of royalty, enthrones the kings, etc. Mother in Heaven is an important aspect of our eternal progression and anyone that says otherwise has not had any experience with her. Mother is the Holy Spirit, not to be confused with the Holy Ghost. Both Father and Mother were very involved in the life of Jesus ... if you know anything about Hebrew, then the Holy Spirit in Hebrew is Feminine. The representation of the Dove is Her symbol. Both Jesus and Mother work together in bringing the children back to hers and Father's kingdom. It is incredibly important to have Jesus as your Second Comforter for he takes you to the Father and then the Father reintroduces you to the Mother. Things are a changing here on earth for she has to be known so that balance and harmony can be brought back to the earth. The union of male/female has to be balanced. Eve took us out of the garden. It is her daughters that need to forge ahead to take us back ... what a wonderful journey it is to have all three (Mother,Father and Son) to be part of our lives!

  2. It seems poetry is the only place our Mother in Heaven can dwell safely. It's a beautiful place, but it is still looking through a glass darkly. I pray for the day that women can say with assurance: "Beloved, now are we the [daughters] of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when [she] shall appear, we shall be like [her]; for we shall see [her] as [she] is." 1 John 3:2

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  4. This is lovely. I found you via Sharman. Every poem brings her out of the darkness - out of the place to which she has been banished by a long and illustrious tradition of patriarchy. God bless you. Mother and Father God bless you.