Pretty Pebbles: 11/30/14

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Why Did Adam Name the Animals Without Eve?
"I think God preparing Adam in such a manner also hints that Eve was always supposed to be the first one to choose to leave the garden. Eve, the one who would bear the burden of bringing souls into the world, the one who would suffer nigh unto death to bring new life, would have to be the one who first made the decision. Adam making that decision first would be a sort of unrighteous dominion--he'd be making a commitment for Eve's body that she should rightly make for herself. Eve needed to be the first, and Adam needed to follow."

The Real Cost of a World-Wide Church
"If I am truly to take my baptismal covenants seriously, I am entrusted with bearing the burdens of my brothers and sisters, even if those burdens originate in a land far away. This experience made me realize the real cost of an international church: Disasters and wars no longer happen to distant people far removed from us, they happen to our people. The world’s fate is our fate because our people are everywhere in it. The price is not money, but comfort. Our hearts must collectively expand to hold everyone’s burdens."

Beard Ban at Mormon Schools Getting Stricter

Both Feet Forward (Video)
(Text)
"Am I celebrating weakness? Yes! The Lord said:
I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them. [Ether 12:27]'
Clearly, weakness and the recognition of it, the humility that follows, and the application of faith in Christ are essential to our eternal progression. Weakness is also the key to authenticity."

The Answer to All the Hard Questions
"Perhaps. Truth isn't always obvious, particularly when it has to compete with alternatives presented in attractive packages. Often we understand the truth only in part, while the whole remains yet to be learned. And in the learning, we face the uncomfortable prospect of abandoning imperfect but heretofore comforting understandings. But trusting that God has all the answers, that He loves us, and that He will answer all our questions—in His way, on His timetable—can simplify our searching. It may not always be easy, but simply trusting in God’s counsel can safely steer us through clouds of confusion."

Many Mormons Are Unaware of the Messy Details
"Other Mormons, however, have downplayed the novelty of the information contained in these essays. They have argued that the LDS Church has never intentionally hidden this information and that Mormons have a responsibility to study their own history (see here, here, and here). Thus, they blame the Mormon rank and file themselves for their ignorance on these matters.
These arguments, however, stand in contrast to statements made by faithful and well-respected Mormon historians ... Placing the blame on the members themselves also ignores the fact that Mormons who publicly discussed the messier details of polygamy and other historical issues have often been marginalized and sometimes even excommunicated by Church leaders in the not-so-distant past."

God Knows the Desires of Your Heart 
"I know that God is aware of each of us. Even in the times when things don't seem fair, or life doesn't turn out how we imagined, I just want you to know that He sees you. He hears your prayers and knows the desires of your heart and, often in ways you never dreamed of,  He will make them happen... promise."

A Lesbian Mormon Perspective

Stop Telling Me I'm Beautiful

"You're so beautiful!"

Every day when I walk into the office she tells me, "You're always so pretty!" or some other variation. Now, don't get me wrong, like most other humans, it feels good to have other humans appreciate my appearance. At first I didn't understand why my co-workers compliments bothered me so much. However, after a year, I'm starting to understand.

First, her compliments are not "free." I soon learned that she expects me to reciprocate, to tell her just as often that she looks beautiful. I resent being forced into a compliment that didn't come naturally. If I notice something, I'll share it. Feeling like I have to come up with something on command makes me feel insincere.

The second thing that bothers me about this situation is that she needs a generic statement of approval to feel good. I like to choose more genuine compliments. I'd rather compliment a specific trait or behavior that I appreciate and I prefer when other people do the same for me. I feel much better when people take the time to really notice who I am than when they throw out a blanket compliment.

Most importantly, though, the thing that bothers me the most is the idea that my worth is defined by my appearance. There is so much more I value about myself than just my appearance and I wish others would recognize those things as well. I'm not "gorgeous" and that should be OK. I shouldn't have to be told I'm beautiful everyday. I shouldn't have to feel beautiful everyday. I am smart, I am loyal, I am loving and tender, I believe in people and care deeply about them. I'm a good listener, a good organizer, a quick learner.    

There is an overwhelming amount of information on the web about beauty. How to be more beautiful, how to make yourself believe you are beautiful, how to not care about being beautiful. Some of these ideas are hurtful to women, some are empowering and there is everything in between. In an effort to improve the messages we send to women and help them feel good about their selves, there is a movement to expand the definition of beauty. You've seen the memes:  

"Strong is beautiful." 

"Curves are beautiful" 

"Wrinkles are beautiful."

"Confidence is beautiful."

I wish we could all stop worrying so much about expanding the definition of beauty. I wish we could take all these attributes and instead of giving them value by placing them under the umbrella of beauty we could give them their own and rightful place as being worthy in and of themselves. Laurie Penny the journalist/activist/feminist explains exactly how I feel:    

Turning thirty was a wonderful thing for me. I feel more myself than I have ever felt. My body tells the story of my life. I can look at myself in the mirror and see my gray hairs and my fine lines and be OK because they make me look more like my grandma. I can even love them. I can look down and my stretch marks and not-so-perky breasts and realize they tell the story of how my two little sons came into this world and blessed me beyond measure. I have scars from mountain biking. My hands are not soft and smooth like a commercial for dish soap. But I love them because they have served and worked and loved for thirty years and I expect them to continue on for thirty more years and beyond.

After all this, I still have to go into work everyday. But now I do it with a different attitude. I'm a grown up and I can smile back at my coworker when she says, "You're always so beautiful," and say, "Thank you, you're sweet for saying that!" I've realized I can take her compliment at face value. I can choose to not feel pressured to reciprocate if it feels inauthentic and to not be offended if her words seem shallow. I can choose to compliment her in a way that seems genuine and meaningful. Most of all, I can choose to see my value in a different light.