"Doth he cry unto any, saying: Depart from me?"

Speaking for the LDS Church at an interfaith dialogue in 2008, Elder Marlin K. Jensen, stated “Immigration questions are questions dealing with God’s children. I believe a more thoughtful and factual, not to mention humane approach is warranted, and urge those responsible for enactment of immigration policy to measure twice before they cut. Meet an undocumented person. Come to know their family. If there is a church that owes debt to the immigrant and the principle of immigration it is the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.^[1]”

photo credit: Mike Terry, Deseret Morning News

Elder Jensen’s remarks were made in the context of several measures dealing with immigration were being considered in the Utah House and Senate and were specifically directed to state legislators and other government officials. His comments are in line with a 2011 official church statement on immigration. This statement, while discouraging illegal immigration, also stressed that “The bedrock moral issue for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is how we treat each other as children of God” and warned against mass expulsion, targeting specific groups, and enforcement only legislation^[2].      

I felt Elder Jensen's’ statement summed up my feelings on the matter and I recently posted his quote on my Facebook wall. As a moderate liberal in a family of political and religious conservatives, I expected some pushback. I am a peacemaker at heart and generally go to great lengths to avoid conflict, especially on political matters. The issue of how to deal with both legal and illegal immigration transcends politics, though, and cuts to the very heart of my religious faith and what I believe the purpose of this country to be.

One family member responded to my post with the following comment, “There's an assumption here that people who oppose immigration do so because they are not "humane." If you get to know them, you'll change your mind. First of all, I don't like being called not "humane" based on this person's assumption that I don't know any immigrants. Well he's wrong. I probably know more immigrants than he does. This isn't an argument. It's an insult.”

I’d first like to say that neither Elder Jensen nor I called out any specific person or group as inhumane. There is a difference between saying that our laws and practices dealing with immigration could be more humane, which is having compassion or benevolence, and calling a particular person not humane. It is entirely possible for good, well-meaning people, who are generally humane, to enact or enforce laws in ways that do not result in the expression of the virtues of compassion or benevolence.

Frankly, I am surprised that such a non-specific call for more thought, facts, and compassion in immigration legislation could be construed as insulting. Any important national decision should be made only after taking time to consider facts, history, and the potential impact the decision could have in people’s lives. Many Americans are jumping to conclusions and reactions based on fear, as we have seen recently in the public support for political figures like Donald Trump with his inflammatory remarks that Mexican immigrants were “rapists,” bringing drugs and crime^[3] and calling for “a total and complete shutdown of Muslims entering the United States.^[4]” Another well publicized example is Tennessee state Rep. Glen Casada, the chairman of the House Republican Caucus in the state Legislature, who called for the National Guard to round up Syrian refugees^[5].

“Othering,” is a term used describe the natural human tendency to view or treat a person or group of people as intrinsically different from and alien to oneself. This inclination can lead people to dismiss the “other” as being in some way less human, and less worthy of respect and dignity in both overt and subtle ways. Truth be told, while still worrying, I am less concerned about individual politicians than I am about those I respect and love espousing views that categorically put large groups of people in the “other camp.” For example, I had someone very dear to me confide their fear that “White people aren’t having enough babies. All the Muslims and the Mexicans are going to keep having babies and soon we’ll be in the minority.” A different family member recently commented on Facebook that if Utah admitted any Syrian refugees he would be happy to use his extensive gun collection to forcibly remove them.

This reaction to immigrants is older than the country itself. Benjamin Franklin, writing in 1751, complained of the German immigrants in Pennsylvania, arguing that their politics, language, and culture, and even darker complexion (as compared to English settlers), was distasteful and incompatible. Others of the time objected to the Germans, labeling them as a lazy and illiterate group whose Catholicism and “excessive fertility” threatened their Anglo-Saxon way of life^[6]. Other examples of anti-immigration sentiment litter our history: The Chinese Exclusion Act, the Know Nothing political party and more. 

The United States is a country of immigrants and each wave of immigration has raised the same types of opposition in the native born population. This opposition can be generally divided into three categories: concern for personal and national safety, economic concerns, and fear of cultural change. Take, for example, a 2014 Reuters poll which “showed that 70 percent of Americans — including 86 percent of Republicans — say illegal immigrants threaten traditional U.S. beliefs and customs, as well as jeopardize the economy.^[7]” While othering and the fears that fuel the propensity may be a natural and evolutionarily important reaction to the unknown, it can be intensified in unhealthy and unhelpful ways by media, political, and religious figures.

On the other hand, the negative effects of othering can be balanced by facts and empathy. Facts about the history of immigration, current levels, the contributions of immigrants to our society, and security threats can facilitate better immigration legislation that accurately meets the needs of citizens while respecting the human dignity of those seeking to enter this country. For example, understanding that, “Numerous studies by independent researchers and government commissions over the past 100 years repeatedly and consistently have found that immigrants are less likely to commit crimes or be behind bars than the native-born,^[8]” or understanding the process for vetting refugees may help alleviate fear about immigration.    

 

Neither I nor Elder Jensen assumed that particular people on my Facebook friend list held political views because they did or did not know immigrants. What I was asserting and will stand by is that it is important for lawmakers to recognize their own biases and work to correct them. One of the most effective tools to do this is to develop meaningful relationships and contacts with a diverse group of people.   

At the conclusion of her well-researched book on the state of free speech in America and the consequences of silencing opposing viewpoints, Kirsten Powers told the story of a law school admissions board that chose to reject the application of an otherwise acceptable candidate, a young man from a religious college. They wrote that they don’t want a “Bible-thumping student.” One of the members of that committee reminded his colleagues that his background was similar to the young man’s. Ultimately, the admission committee decided to admit the student.

Powers uses this story to illustrate how personal connection can work to overcome deeply ingrained biases. She notes: “We should all make efforts to invite people who hold different views into our worlds. Contrary to popular thought, familiarity doesn’t breed contempt. It breeds understanding and tolerance.^[9]”

Empathy, the ability to understand and share the feelings of another, is a necessary component of a harmonious society because it motivates individuals to act in ways that are good not only for themselves, but for the group as a whole. Most people, no matter their religious affiliation, can remember times when they almost seemed to feel another's’ physical or emotional pain.

Humans seem wired, whether by evolution or by a divine hand, to empathize most with those they are close to. Mirror neurons react to the emotions we view in others and then reproduce them, in essence allowing us to feel what others feel. It is natural to experience empathy for those closest to us, our family and friends, those who are like us. As Christians, we have an added obligation to seek after empathy, also called in the scriptures compassion, mercy, or charity. We are called to emulate the example of Jesus, who seemed particularly attuned to the emotions of those around him. Recall these touching verses from 3 Nephi, when Jesus told the people he would be leaving them:

“And it came to pass that when Jesus had thus spoken, he cast his eyes round about again on the multitude, and beheld they were in tears, and did look steadfastly upon him as if they would ask him to tarry a little longer with them.

 And he said unto them: Behold, my bowels are filled with compassion towards you.

 Have ye any that are sick among you? Bring them hither. Have ye any that are lame, or blind, or halt, or maimed, or leprous, or that are withered, or that are deaf, or that are afflicted in any manner? Bring them hither and I will heal them, for I have compassion upon you; my bowels are filled with mercy.”

One By One, Walter Rane

As baptized members of the Christ’s church, we are under covenant to mourn with those that mourn and comfort those who stand in need of comfort^[10], in essence to have empathy, not just with those we love, but also our enemies, those who hate us^[11], and those we consider the least worthy^[12] of our empathy. This is a covenant we renew weekly when we take the sacrament and great promises of spiritual strength are attached to keeping this covenant.

As a friend of mine recently said, "Compassion, not contempt is the source of life that so many of us need. it is the font of living water from which we all can drink and sustain life. That is what I am advocating for. I'm not arguing for or against a particular policy. I'm not advocating lawlessness. I do believe that in order to create a just and virtuous society our most important Christian virtue, without which we are like sounding brass, must be evident in our lives and flow into our laws.

-----

^[1] Buckley, Deborah. “Have compassion for immigrants, lawmakers urged.” Deseret News. Feb 14 2008. http://www.deseretnews.com/article/695253048/Have-compassion-for-immigrants-lawmakers-urged.html?pg=all.

^[2] “Immigration: Church Issues New Statement.” Mormon Newsroom. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Jun 10 2011. http://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/immigration-church-issues-new-statement 

^[3] Ye Hee Lee, Michelle. “Donald Trump's false comments connecting Mexican immigrants and crime. The Washington Post: Fact Checker. July 8 2015.  https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/fact-checker/wp/2015/07/08/donald-trumps-false-comments-connecting-mexican-immigrants-and-crime/

^[4] Trump, Donald J. “Donald J. Trump Statement on Preventing Muslim Immigration.” Trump: Make America Great Again. Dec 07 2015. https://www.donaldjtrump.com/press-releases/donald-j.-trump-statement-on-preventing-muslim-immigration.   

^[5] Sisk, Chas. “Tennessee Lawmaker Calls for national Guard to Round UP Syrian Refugees.” NPR Politics. Nashville Public Radio. Nov 19 2015. http://www.npr.org/2015/11/19/456502693/tennessee-lawmaker-calls-for-national-guard-to-round-up-syrian-refugees.

^[6] Baron, Dennis. “Official American: English Only.” PBS.org. 2005. http://www.pbs.org/speak/seatosea/officialamerican/englishonly/  

^[7] Bell, Alistair. “Americans worry that illegal migrants threaten way of life, economy.” Reuters. Aug 7 2014. http://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-immigration-worries-idUSKBN0G70BE20140807.

^[8] Immigration Policy Center. “Immigrants and Crime: Are They Connected?” American Immigration Council. Oct 25 2008. http://www.immigrationpolicy.org/just-facts/immigrants-and-crime-are-they-connected-century-research-finds-crime-rates-immigrants-are

^[9] Powers, Kirsten, The Silencing: How the Left is Killing Free Speech. Regnery Publishing. 2015

^[10] Mosiah 18:8-10 https://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm/mosiah/18.8-10

^[11] Matthew 5:44 https://www.lds.org/scriptures/nt/matt/5.44?lang=eng

^[12] Matthew 25:40  https://www.lds.org/scriptures/nt/matt/25.40?lang=eng

I Love This Old House

Recently on my Facebook wall I shared a short blog post from the Exponent titled, "Why I'm a Mormon Feminist and Why I Won't Tell You to be One Too." I felt like Jess' words expressed my feelings as well when she described what it is like to live between two worlds, constantly asking yourself, "How can I be a feminist in this church?" and simultaneously wondering, "How can I stay in this church?" Every day is an act of faith, an expression of of my hope for things unseen.

I stay for many of the same reasons outlined in the post: community, values, and heritage. My ward is absolutely fabulous my interactions with the members of my ward fuels my hope and faith. I have a deep Mormon heritage that goes down into my bones and pervades all of my soul. But, ultimately I stay for one reason: I know that this is where God wants me.

I have hard questions. Soul wrenching questions that aren't going away. They can't be prayed away or answered by reading more scriptures. If that was the case they would have been gone long ago. When I ask these questions in prayer, heaven is generally silent. But when I ask, "Do you want me in this church? Even with all the pain and frustration?" I feel an overwhelming sense that my Father and Mother in Heaven love me and are present, and their joint answer is, "Yes. Stay. Continue holding on to your hope for things you can't see."

So, I like Jess, choose to stay. But, she says, she would probably not encourage others to join. This statement wouldn't sit well with most members. One of my family members responded to the post in part with the following:    

"In my opinion to be truly converted to the gospel you could never make the following statement: 'But would I ever encourage any one else to join the church? If I’m being honest, the answer is no, probably not.'

Her statement is like saying 'I enjoy living in a safe and comfortable house, but I would never recommend it to my friends who's houses are on fire. After all, they have their agency.'"

I like the image of the church as a house: a place that offers shelter, room for family to gather, a place that feels like home. I'd like to expand on that idea and perhaps give you a better idea of how I see things.

As a child I loved watching This Old House, a program that showed beautiful old houses being restored. I see many of these types of houses in the Avenues in Salt Lake City near the hospital where I work. I marvel at their beauty and grandeur.  

In many ways the church is like one of these grand old homes. Built by our pioneer ancestors, the house of the church is solid, built on a firm foundation. The architecture is lofty and inspiring. There is also much sense of history here. I can see the pictures of my parents, grandparents, generations of love in this home. This is where the people I love gather, sit around the table and share a hearty meal. There is true Christian service. There is joy in this house and I love it dearly. 

But, if I look closely I can see some of the paint is peeling. There's a leaky sink here, a drafty window there. Our family has expanded over the years too. We've opened our doors, not just to our family but now to our neighbors and friends. It's wonderful to share the goodness, but we've got people sleeping on the couch and on the floor. And only half the family has a key to the place that is supposed to be home to all. 

I loved watching the workers on This Old House transform old homes. When you repair and improve an old home it is called restoration. Now there's a word we are familiar with. Recently President Uchtdorf reminded the members that the restoration of the church is an on going process. I believe wholeheartedly in his words: 

"Sometimes we think of the Restoration of the gospel as something that is complete, already behind us—Joseph Smith translated the Book of Mormon, he received priesthood keys, the Church was organized. In reality, the Restoration is an ongoing process; we are living in it right now. It includes “all that God has revealed, all that He does now reveal,” and the “many great and important things” that “He will yet reveal.”"  

When some of us try to speak up and suggest that maybe the leaky window in the back upstairs bedroom needs to be repaired we are met with exclamations of surprise, "My bedroom window is fine! You're just looking to complain." or "Why can't you just focus on the good?" Well, my room's so cold and night and I'm getting sick. When we suggest that maybe it's time to build an addition so we can fit all those who want to join us, we are told, "You should be happy with the house the way it is. It's perfect. If you don't like it, why don't you just leave?" 

I won't leave because I also believe these words from President Uchtdorf: 

"There is too much at stake for us as individuals, as families, and as Christ’s Church to give only a halfhearted effort to this sacred work.

Being a disciple of Jesus Christ is not an effort of once a week or once a day. It is an effort of once and for all."

I am committed to this church. But I won't be one to be lulled into security and say, "All is well in Zion; yea, Zion prospereth, all is well." 

I'm not leaving because this is my home and I love it. The plans are divine, but the construction is mortal. We have some work to do; we can fix some of our leaks, finish washing and putting away our laundry and replace our windows with the new Energy Star version. And, like a good Mormon girl I'm going to be humming a hymn while I work, because I'll "help the good work move along, and put my shoulder to the wheel."   

Events: Single in the Borderlands 12/20/14 Salt Lake City, Utah

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Events: Wear Pants to Church Day 12/14/14

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Pretty Pebbles: 11/30/14

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Why Did Adam Name the Animals Without Eve?
"I think God preparing Adam in such a manner also hints that Eve was always supposed to be the first one to choose to leave the garden. Eve, the one who would bear the burden of bringing souls into the world, the one who would suffer nigh unto death to bring new life, would have to be the one who first made the decision. Adam making that decision first would be a sort of unrighteous dominion--he'd be making a commitment for Eve's body that she should rightly make for herself. Eve needed to be the first, and Adam needed to follow."

The Real Cost of a World-Wide Church
"If I am truly to take my baptismal covenants seriously, I am entrusted with bearing the burdens of my brothers and sisters, even if those burdens originate in a land far away. This experience made me realize the real cost of an international church: Disasters and wars no longer happen to distant people far removed from us, they happen to our people. The world’s fate is our fate because our people are everywhere in it. The price is not money, but comfort. Our hearts must collectively expand to hold everyone’s burdens."

Beard Ban at Mormon Schools Getting Stricter

Both Feet Forward (Video)
(Text)
"Am I celebrating weakness? Yes! The Lord said:
I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them. [Ether 12:27]'
Clearly, weakness and the recognition of it, the humility that follows, and the application of faith in Christ are essential to our eternal progression. Weakness is also the key to authenticity."

The Answer to All the Hard Questions
"Perhaps. Truth isn't always obvious, particularly when it has to compete with alternatives presented in attractive packages. Often we understand the truth only in part, while the whole remains yet to be learned. And in the learning, we face the uncomfortable prospect of abandoning imperfect but heretofore comforting understandings. But trusting that God has all the answers, that He loves us, and that He will answer all our questions—in His way, on His timetable—can simplify our searching. It may not always be easy, but simply trusting in God’s counsel can safely steer us through clouds of confusion."

Many Mormons Are Unaware of the Messy Details
"Other Mormons, however, have downplayed the novelty of the information contained in these essays. They have argued that the LDS Church has never intentionally hidden this information and that Mormons have a responsibility to study their own history (see here, here, and here). Thus, they blame the Mormon rank and file themselves for their ignorance on these matters.
These arguments, however, stand in contrast to statements made by faithful and well-respected Mormon historians ... Placing the blame on the members themselves also ignores the fact that Mormons who publicly discussed the messier details of polygamy and other historical issues have often been marginalized and sometimes even excommunicated by Church leaders in the not-so-distant past."

God Knows the Desires of Your Heart 
"I know that God is aware of each of us. Even in the times when things don't seem fair, or life doesn't turn out how we imagined, I just want you to know that He sees you. He hears your prayers and knows the desires of your heart and, often in ways you never dreamed of,  He will make them happen... promise."

A Lesbian Mormon Perspective

My Journey to Mormon Feminism Part One: Discovery

A few days ago one of my dearest friends asked me to explain what Mormon Feminism was and why I identify with that label. I didn't have the time or words to answer her then, but I think that answering her question is an important opportunity for me to define and refine what I believe. I find that I often don't know what I believe until I write it down.

First, let me take you back in time. I have always loved being a woman in the church. While I there have always been little nagging things that bother me about the culture of the church and some doctrines that remain mysterious I have found joy, love and peace in my church membership. Through the scriptures and ordinances of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints I have found a relationship with the divine and that relationship is very precious to me. I truly believe, as I was taught in the Young Women Theme, that "I am a daughter of my Heavenly Father, who loves me and I love Him."

About two years ago I first heard about Mormon Feminism from a dear friend of mine. She told me about the blog Feminist Mormon Housewives and a woman named Joanna Brooks. What little I knew about them then made me alternate between loathing and pity. They must not understand the doctrine. They just wanted to change my church to match their liberal social views. They were just angry. They were victims of the rare abuse of power and authority that can happen in any organization.

I look back now and realize how arrogant and uncharitable my attitude was. I judged these women before I knew their stories or tried to understand their point of view. I felt so superior because I knew the true place of women in the church.

Over the next two years much happened in my personal life that turned my expectation of life and faith on its head. I wasn't living the perfect Mormon dream and was consumed with guilt.

All I had ever wanted was to be the perfect Molly Mormon wife depending on my Peter Priesthood husband with a clean, crafty home and a "quiver" full of children. As that dream became increasingly unlikely my guilt likewise increased. That guilt turned into anger. I was angry at family members, at God and at myself.

One day I was in my car on the way to work listening to our local public radio station and heard this episode of Radio West called The Evolving Role of Mormon Women. I started crying uncontrollably. I pulled into the parking structure and work and sat in my car for 10 minutes trying to compose myself. I was so angry. Who were these women who wanted to come in and take my church from me and turn it into something else? Why didn't they just leave?

After I calmed down I realized there was something seriously wrong inside me if a simple radio program brought such a violent emotional reaction. I decided I had to figure out why I was so angry. What was it about Mormon Feminism that was so threatening?

I prayed and pondered. I listened to the radio program again and again. I turned to a Facebook group for readers of a blog called Empowering LDS Women. One of the members of the Facebook group suggested I read a blog post titled "Why Do Some Members See Inequality?" As I read the blog post my anger slowly melted away and understanding washed over me.

Modern Woman Pleading and Praying by Brandy Cattor

While I didn't agree with every single thing in the blog post, I realized that for the most part, these could have been my words. I was a Mormon Feminist and I didn't even know it. I had been so angry because I was afraid. I was afraid, not of these women, but of being one of them. That would make me the "other."

In the weeks and months that have followed I have set out on a journey of self discovery. A whole new world has opened up to me. Sometimes frightening and overwhelming, this new world has forced me to grow up and choose who I will be. I have given up my former faith which was comparably narrow and linear. I have embraced a more living and fluid faith. In the process I have found great reservoirs of trust in God and compassion for others in myself. My relationship with my God has deepened and expanded. I would say I feel more "myself" today than at anytime in the past.

The path has also been a lonely one. While I have confided in a few trusted souls, no one really knows the depths of the transformation I have undergone and am still undergoing. I have been reluctant to share much of my heart with others for several reasons. I feel firstly that this is a very private matter, between me and God. I also feel I am still in a transforming state, like a butterfly still in chrysalis.

Chrysalis by Katy Bailey

I also still fear the judgement of others. I fear that others will view me as I once viewed Mormon feminists, or worse. I am afraid to speak up in church or to my friends for fear a church leader will get wind of something I said and call me in for a "talk." My church membership and community of saints are things I hold dear and the idea of anything or anyone threatening them fills my soul with fear.

And yet, I cannot turn away from this new path I have found. Something in my soul compels me on this journey and I feel deep down in my bones that this is the way God has laid out for me. I certainly would not have chosen this way. As I seek God in prayer and in my scripture study he answers with love and I pray for the strength to follow where he leads.

Stop Telling Me I'm Beautiful

"You're so beautiful!"

Every day when I walk into the office she tells me, "You're always so pretty!" or some other variation. Now, don't get me wrong, like most other humans, it feels good to have other humans appreciate my appearance. At first I didn't understand why my co-workers compliments bothered me so much. However, after a year, I'm starting to understand.

First, her compliments are not "free." I soon learned that she expects me to reciprocate, to tell her just as often that she looks beautiful. I resent being forced into a compliment that didn't come naturally. If I notice something, I'll share it. Feeling like I have to come up with something on command makes me feel insincere.

The second thing that bothers me about this situation is that she needs a generic statement of approval to feel good. I like to choose more genuine compliments. I'd rather compliment a specific trait or behavior that I appreciate and I prefer when other people do the same for me. I feel much better when people take the time to really notice who I am than when they throw out a blanket compliment.

Most importantly, though, the thing that bothers me the most is the idea that my worth is defined by my appearance. There is so much more I value about myself than just my appearance and I wish others would recognize those things as well. I'm not "gorgeous" and that should be OK. I shouldn't have to be told I'm beautiful everyday. I shouldn't have to feel beautiful everyday. I am smart, I am loyal, I am loving and tender, I believe in people and care deeply about them. I'm a good listener, a good organizer, a quick learner.    

There is an overwhelming amount of information on the web about beauty. How to be more beautiful, how to make yourself believe you are beautiful, how to not care about being beautiful. Some of these ideas are hurtful to women, some are empowering and there is everything in between. In an effort to improve the messages we send to women and help them feel good about their selves, there is a movement to expand the definition of beauty. You've seen the memes:  

"Strong is beautiful." 

"Curves are beautiful" 

"Wrinkles are beautiful."

"Confidence is beautiful."

I wish we could all stop worrying so much about expanding the definition of beauty. I wish we could take all these attributes and instead of giving them value by placing them under the umbrella of beauty we could give them their own and rightful place as being worthy in and of themselves. Laurie Penny the journalist/activist/feminist explains exactly how I feel:    

Turning thirty was a wonderful thing for me. I feel more myself than I have ever felt. My body tells the story of my life. I can look at myself in the mirror and see my gray hairs and my fine lines and be OK because they make me look more like my grandma. I can even love them. I can look down and my stretch marks and not-so-perky breasts and realize they tell the story of how my two little sons came into this world and blessed me beyond measure. I have scars from mountain biking. My hands are not soft and smooth like a commercial for dish soap. But I love them because they have served and worked and loved for thirty years and I expect them to continue on for thirty more years and beyond.

After all this, I still have to go into work everyday. But now I do it with a different attitude. I'm a grown up and I can smile back at my coworker when she says, "You're always so beautiful," and say, "Thank you, you're sweet for saying that!" I've realized I can take her compliment at face value. I can choose to not feel pressured to reciprocate if it feels inauthentic and to not be offended if her words seem shallow. I can choose to compliment her in a way that seems genuine and meaningful. Most of all, I can choose to see my value in a different light.